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Paramedic Suicide

by Brendan Smoother

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1.
He walked into recruitment, wide eyed and wet behind the ears With his shiny new uniform, anticipation and fear You wouldn't know it, he didn't show it His first year was a hell of a ride You must see some terrible things, but you keep it inside Don't think about it Lights and sirens screaming, someone stop the bleeding It can't be too late to ease a troubled mind. In your darkest hour, never give up, you can break free of your demons deep inside No... Moving so fast through the traffic, red light up and over the curb. Is a junkie gonna come up swinging, keep your distance keep your nerve Another trauma, somebody's daughter Don't even dare put yourself in their place Just shout another round of drinks at the bar, socialise and compensate Don't think about Lights and sirens screaming, someone stop the bleeding It can't be too late to ease a troubled mind. In your darkest hour, never give up, you can break free of your demons deep inside No... Paramedic Suicide She's tried so hard to understand her man and all his troubles They were looking so up but it came crashing down in doubles You wouldn't know it, he didn't show it They always seemed so firm on the ground She had to take the kids, his only reason to live, ain't hangin around. They ain't hanging around. Chorus X 2 He walked into recruitment, wide eyed and wet behind the ears.
2.
Yesterday when we were new And me the younger one of two I followed in your shadow you were strong Life goes by and things get tough When I was down you'd pick me up Your reasoning would never steer me wrong And its because this faith in you I am the man I grew into Swinging from your pedestal so long Never contemplated being left behind Never saw the warning signs I saw you just the other night We talked awhile you seemed alright But if I knew then what I know right now I guess you appeared a little tense But then you brightened up again Your daytime mask could shine above your frown I asked you just how have you been But your reply was kind of thin You went to speak but then you just looked down No you don't hang dirty laundry on the line Never saw the warning signs Permanent solution to a passing situation You know there is no consolation prize And thinking it will end the pain it's never really over It falls back on the ones you leave behind I still hear those church bells in my mind Never saw the warning signs Being glad and feeling sad or somewhere in between Is part of who we are and that's just fine But if the mood can take you down And there's no velvet underground The shadows close to steal away your light But I was here like you were there for me A secret shared can set you free If only we could turn the hands of time Take that time to read between the lines I never saw the warning signs And take that time to read between the lines Never saw the warning signs
3.
4.
Many more miles were behind him Than he had left to go Closing in upon that last one We all must walk alone It's the one across the end of the line So we held on and we told stories Of the good and bad in all Of the power and the glory And the lonely days that crawled He said heaven holds true love And a satisfied mind. He said I ain't afraid of dying 'Cause I know there's something worse When you have to see your reason for livin' go first And you get left behind Some can't think of nothing better Than to live this life forever I never wanted no more than was mine And to lay down someday and go home With a satisfied mind. He said don't look into the darkness If you want to see true black Look into a morning's brightness When love ain't coming back You will find right there a darkness that blinds And don't think wealth is ever having All you want all to yourself It is found when you are giving What you have to someone else The only difference in the rich and the poor Is a satisfied mind. And one light began to fade As one grew brighter And he said I ain't afraid of dying 'Cause I know there's something worse When you have to see your reason for livin' go first And you get left behind. Some can't think of nothing better Than to live this life forever I never wanted no more than was mine And to lay down someday and go home Let me lay down someday and go home With a satisfied mind...

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released February 2, 2016

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